Tuesday, 19 June 2012

CW-NARRATIVE ESSAY-SPM 2007-NIK ADLEENA SMKA NAIM LILBANAT-Liyana was nervous when the door opened

SPM 2007(Continuous Writing)-Narrative essay:
 Write an essay starting with: Lina was nervous when the door opened...

Liyana was nervous when the door opened. She heard someone calling her name in a spooky tone. “Liyana, where is my daughter? Where is she?!!” I was so scared. I took a broom and prepared to attack. Suddenly, a person who looked familiar appeared in front of me. It was Zara’s mother! She strangled me with a rope and I saw a knife in her hand. She asked me angrily about her daughter. I said I did  not know. She looked so messy and diorganised, wearing no slippers, clothes were torn, hair was unkempt.. I tried to call my mom but she had cut the phone wire and had also grabbed my cell phone and threw it over the window.

I remembered few years back  how my  parents would love me to study in foreign country. Daddy really wanted  me to be a successful doctor. Mom said that I could be a specialist doctor and would certainly have a brighter future. I studied  at Wesley College Melbourne.  The place was not suitable for me at all. I could not adapt to the new environment. The students were all brilliant and  outstanding. The competition was very high indeed. I also didn’t like the way the professors taught me.He was too fast and sometimes assignments that he gave was too long and impossible to be completed within a short time frame.Sometimes it was even worst when the assignment given was totally new to us and we knew next to nothing. I had to struggle all the way and finishing the asignment on my own was hell!Honestly I cuold not catch up. I really wanted  to go home.Secondly the food where I have to face lots and lots of difficulties.I suffered in silence.In Malaysia, I was known as the ‘Food Girl’. Here, the food was really horrible and unappetising.It was not suiting to my taste at all.I really miss my mom’s cooking. One day, I had a stomachache. The doctor said I suffered  from the usual  gastrical problem.“Miss Liyana, from now on, you have to take these supplements to increase your appetite.” I just nodded.Then I called mum,“Mom, I really wanted to  go home. I didn’t like this place here.”

Then,I saw Prof Terabhitia stepped into the class with a new girl beside her. Everyone glanced at her beauty. She is so attractive and  fascinating. She was asked to sit  next to me. She smiled and introduced herself “Hi, my name is Zara. How do you do?” Then I knew  she was assigned as my roommate. She was a very talkative, brilliant, rich, gorgeous person. Everyone adored her. She was the queen of the college.

Today is 2nd August, my birthday. No one wishes happy birthday to me except my parents. I felt so sad. I thought I  should be the happiest girl on my birthday. Zara called me and told me to dress up.I was wondering what would happen next. I just followed  her orders and zoom within minutes we already reached Melbourne Hilton Hotel. ! How amazing!This is the first time I entered a posh hotel. I glanced at the beautiful decorations on the walls and ceilings.This hotel is truly classic.Then the food,I could smell the aromatic Malaysian food!Surely it must be appetising. All my friends were there. Actually, Zara had planned this  exclusivity for my birthday. I hugged her and she said “Liyana, you are my sweetest candy in the world!” It was the most unforgettable moment for me. “Thank you very much Zara for making my birthday the best day ever!”

Then  I met a new guy, Amir. He is handsome,talented, educated and  romantic Malay guy. Suddenly, something hit me. ouch! “Liyana, you’d better focused on the game. We’ve got tournament next week.” That was the hit of love.In the evening, I was walking alone at the park and Zara had assignments to finish in the room..While I was dreaming of the handsome Amir, I fell into the drain. It was painful and my clothes look so awful! Amir came to rescue me.
 One day, Amir asked me out. First, I thought it was a date. But it turned  into a nightmare. Actually, Zara was his fiancée. They had been engaged since they were in first year.Then,I swear to myself that I will do anything to get Amir into my arms. They do not deserve to be together. Kamal, my classmate who is in love with  Zara also agreed to cooperate with me. “I need you to kidnap Zara and bring her out of Melbourne.” I told Kamal.Then  I gave Zara sleeping pills and immediately she fell asleep. Kamal took him to a warehouse. She woke up and screamed for help just like an insane person! She was shocked when she found out that I was behind all this. “Why were you doing this to me?”  I stabbed her and blood spurted from her stomach.Then she fainted. “What have I done? I’ve killed Zara. I’d to run away before the police find out.” I was panicked. I ran away leaving her dead body behind.

I ran back to Malaysia, a safe place to hide. Kamal was caught as a suspect. Poor Kamal, he was  innocent! Mom was very surprised hearing my flashback story. Mrs. Huda was too angry and messed up everything. It was my entire fault. I’ve should never act like that. Out of the blue, the police came with my sister and took Mrs.Huda back to the mental hospital. Before she left, she gave me a letter written by Zara. “Dear Liyana, since the first time we met, I felt like you’re the one who I was looking for. You’re like my sister. I love you very much. I would give anything to you in this world including Amir, my fiancée.” My eyes were brimming with tears after I read that letter. I surrendered myself because I could not take it anymore. Mom’s heart broke into pieces. Two years I was in prison. I had nightmares. Zara came to me and asked me why I killed  her.The police had decided to release me from the dungeon. It’s time for me to turn over a new leaf.

 One sunny day, while shopping at the mall, suddenly someone greet me. When I turn around, I saw a girl similar to Zara. I was shocked. “Yo…..y…..you are Zara!” I received no respond. She glanced and smiled sweetly to me. One rainy night, when I was having a dinner with my mom, someone knocked the door.  It was her! Her clothes were soaking. She shivered because of the cold weather. I made her a cup of hot chocolate. “I came here to tell the tru….th!” She told us that she was…………..Zara. I don’t believe her at all. Zara had died four years ago. “An old man had saved my life. He brought me to the hospital. He said that I was in coma for a year. He took me to his house and raised me as his granddaughter. You had to believe me. I am Zara. I still have our friendship necklace.” I could not accept all this nonsense. I took my car keys and drive away from home. I kept thinking about her. Unfortunately, my car hit an enormous tree!Boom! I heard the ambulance coming and after a few moments I fainted. My body was burnt and I lost a lot of blood. I thought I could be paralysed. Zara was willing to donate her blood although she knew that it would  risk  her own life.

Few months later, I had fully recovered. I thanked Zara for donating her blood. Mom told me that Zara suffered from brain cancer and had reached critical level. Immediately, I rushed to her house. She looked pale and weak. She was dying. If I knew this was going to happen, I would not let her donate her blood. She didn’t mind because she wanted to see me live happily ever after. Few moments later, I found out that she wasn’t breathing anymore. I fainted. I dreamt of her telling me to let her go and let her rest in peace. I let her go and her mom was relieved. She still alive for the second chance because she wanted to see me for the last time. I was very sad. I will always keep in mind her precious words before she left me “I will pick up the most shining star in the universe just for you. It symbolizes our friendship that lasts forever. Although I am far away from you, you should keep in mind that I will always be there for you if you need help. Just like the stars. It will always shine. You are my star forever and ever.” Zara had gone forever but she still lives in my heart.

PTD 11(Class of sirrosdi)


  1. Subhanallah!!!....jalan cerita yg amat menarik.....Excellent!

  2. very interesting story....
    i like it..
    just a few mistakes from this story like
    -Kamal took HIM to a warehouse-
    it should be HER if i not mistaken...
    learn from mistakes...
    i didn't good in english n writing essays like you..
    thumbs up!